Tuesday, July 12, 2011

‘Through time things change’, a long-held axiom, which I believe is true. Life is changing so fast that I cannot cope up with the pace at which it is changing.
Time is running faster than Dash (I hope you know Dash,  Mr. Incredible’s son!)

I am learning.
I am forgetting.

I am learning more things that I didn’t know as a child, for eg: fairy tales merely remain fairy tales, but you CAN always get to run for your life just like Cinderella! (Though Cinderella actually ran to be safe from her step-mom’s beating, WE usually run away from our prince charming. Maybe because after loving and kissing him, he turns into an ugly frog!)

I am forgetting a few little but important things my parents and my elder sister have thought me.

I was always a very caring and a thoughtful child. But lately I have lost the little gem I carried in my heart. I now carry a rock in there! I hardly care about people, sometimes I also tend to mistreat my family.

I hurt them!

May not be doing it deliberately, obviously I don’t do it on a purpose! It’s axiomatic!
But I am doing it. So I am the one to be blamed and held responsible.

I was never rebellious. Maybe I was a fighter cock all my life. But never rebellious!

It seems I am growing into a person, a person who has a life of its own, thoughts, feelings, desires, worries, aims and goals. Earlier my life, thoughts, feelings, desires, worries, aims and goals were all that of my parents, family and friends.

Now it’s always ME.

While writing this, there are a few things that are now flashing in my puny head. Maybe it's true when people say, everything is planned for our lives, our destiny, our future. We can only make it better or worse.

Maybe I am forming an individual personality of my own. A new person.

This person is forming from inside and around me.

My inner feelings and the outer environment, the way I am being treated, nurtured, taken care of, loved etc, it is all creating a new ME.

And I am just letting me grow. I am letting a new person build.

But why am I ‘letting me grow’?
Do I not have an option to ‘form’ the person I want to be?
Can’t I mend ME?
Can’t I build ME?

If I am letting myself grow into an irritated-uncontrollable-angry woman, I can try to make myself a calm-very much controllable-pleasant woman!

It all depends on me now.

I love the humour I hold and have improved on. Maybe I will carry it as an extra ingredient to my very own delicacy!

The first thing I need to learn, to be avuncular (obviously for my brother, who irritates me, and walks with his chest out when i get irritated) and avow to STOP being SO over reactive and hype, for eg: I need to act like I seen a cockroach when I see one, and not act like I seen an unknown specie. Or stop screaming when the water on the beach touches my feet like boiling hot lava touched it instead!
‘Creating ME’ project begins!

Hope I stick with the first assignment.
P.S- Sorry to be absent for SO long. I missed everyone and all of your blogs, which I will be reading soon! Keep reading me.