Saturday, June 11, 2011

Girl or a woman?

What am I a girl or a woman?! I NEED to go out with my friends a bit. I know this sounds weird, but I am stuck in the house alone for HOURS and I am only spending time with myself, myself and myself!
Cause of this, I am building a very dangerous disease called 'lonelyzania' that’s making me love and enjoy my loneliness. And that’s not good. NO-NO.  For eg:

My friends came over to meet me after a long time. I spent around 2 hours with them.
For the first 30 minutes, I was absolutely normal.
The next quarter, my friends asked me to dress up so that we could go for a ‘fun walk’ (laughing-giggling-smiling-and cracking dumb jokes while walking). So I put on my jeans and a nice casual top and was all ready.

My friends waited at the door, for another quarter while I ran around the house, putting off all the lights and fans, the T.V switches, closing all the windows, checking if I have not let the gas on in a hurry, put some perfume and there! I was ready atlast!
 My friends signed with relief, we stepped in the lift and WAIT!   I still have to lock the door. So I lock the door, check twice if it’s locked properly.
And then we all got in the lift.
And suddenly WAIT!
I rushed back to my floor, opened the door again, got my wallet out and said, "What if I need to buy some vegetables when I am back!"

Can you believe that?
Am I turning into a woman? At the age of 18?!
In the next hour we were under our building standing and talking to other friends who met us on the way.
I greeted them very sweetly, spoke to each one for about 5-10 seconds and then I was watching the birds, and the garden, and when I was done watching and admiring the garden, checked out how weirdly some girls were dressed (I know thats mean, am just being frank!) and thats it, after the long hour, we ATLAST began the 'fun walk'.
For about 15 minutes I survived the jokes-hitting each other-giggles-and laughter, the next entire hour I was slogging behind everyone, trying to cope up with them using my tiny-short legs.
'Trying' my best to be in the conversation that included what the girl on the 8th floor had done when she was caught with her boyfriend, and how she was tormented to surrender her mobile phone to her parents (isn't that extremely stupid? I mean, if you have caught your daughter dating some guy, you already know she was dating, why would you want to read her messages?! I agree shes 18, but come-on shes 18! If she's making a wrong choice, you’re supposed to be explaining stuff to her, and not torchuring her and reading her personal messages, that is SICK).

But when I said this, all the girls looked at me as if I said something so damn weird.

Why such taboos that could spoil a girl's life? I mean If atall shes caught, and yelled at, the next time she does it, she’s going to do it alone, and in a way no-one ever catches her. What are you going to do then? Attach a CCTV camera in her room?

Anyways, to get back to the topic, while I was 'trying' to catch up with them, I seen some amazingly beautiful vegetables with a vege guy, so I happily walked to him, bought some fresh nice green vegetables and fruits, a moment of joy, the guy smiled at me in a very sweet way, he had seen me after a long time.

I asked him , ”Kaise ho bhaiya?” (How are you brother?),

Vege man, " Hum thik hai beta, aap kidhar the? Bohot dino ke baad dikhe."

(Where were you child? Haven't seen you around from a long time.)

Me- Bahar Gaon gayi thi  (Had been out of town).

I walked back home with my friends, sad and depressed. I just could not stay in the conversation!
Maybe it’s because I have just got back from a 2 month holiday, so most probably I have missed on a lot of conversations.To get into the talks again may take some time.
Maybe I am grown more mature. I am just worried about myself.

 I just find my friends different now. They are so totally different.
 They make friends SO fast.
 And I think almost 100 times before I do that.
They are out most times.
And I am just inside my house.
Not that I don’t like to go out. I just prefer staying home.
 I like to stay home, read and write blogs, read articles, watch T.V, clean up the mess, do the laundry, and spend time with my sister when she gets home.
But  this is a very bad way of living.
I am an 18 year old and I need to behave and think like one!
So I am just waiting for my college to start.
With that my socialising would start again. And I may get cured from lonelyzania.


  1. Sounds as though you are just growing up. Don't fret. Enjoy some quiet time before college begins. :-)

    Thanks for Rewinding at the Fibro.

  2. For everything there is a time and it sounds like right now is your time to refill your personal energies. It does sound like you are maturing maybe faster than your friends, give them time they will eventually catch up. The whirlwind of socializing I am sure will be hectic once college starts up again so enjoy your quiet time without guilt, you have earned it.

  3. Allison- Yes I will. College starts tomorrow. :-)
    Nita- Thankyou so much Nita for the advic. Your right, I will enjoy the quiet time! :-)

  4. Sometimes, some people just realize what's really important in life and it's hard to talk about just the fluff. Nothing's wrong with reaching that point.

    u ain't a woman.. u are just maturing !
    with more and more responsibilities.. and 'better' understanding !
    nice one ! ;)


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